amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
While mobile gaming attempts to work out its sexism issues, they seem to have settled on their ideal formula for advertising a competitive strategy game. Which is to show one or more beautiful women beating one or more regular guys at it. See, ladies, they know you can play games real well, so don't be offended! The Generic Schlub is astounded by this game goddess and her superior skill, but don't worry for your egos, hetero boys; in a surprise plot twist, our superior female players are besting you in this contest of skill as a means of flirtation!

(I have seen video ads for at least 4 separate games following this formula.)
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
[personal profile] rialian's tortoiseshell cat Maeve is giving me dietary advice: she thinks I should eat more chicken, and eat it in front of the cat. Oh, and also I should definitely tear the skin into little pieces and drop it on the floor.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
Please pardon the long silence.

I wish I had come sooner, but wishing and regrets only delay me further. So here I am, without further ado.

When you have an autistic/ADHD brain, with fiddly frontal lobes and tetchy dopamine regulation, flow psychology becomes ludicrously, absurdly important to the exercise of free will, as do patterns of feedback and reward.

I can lift hand-weights until I get bored and have modest gains at most, but recently I swam in the ocean again, just two days of paddling against waves, and can still see the difference in my upper arms. Dynamic resistance, a balance of support and hindrance in motion. I can only push through the immediate burn of exertion when there is something equal to it within me and behind me to push with.

For a while that wasn't there. More recently, just this year, I've had the impetus but not the environment. The understanding that I need to swim again, literally and metaphorically, has been present, but I also need currents to push against. Forces that pull at me and call me into motion.

And the ones I've had access to recently have ranged from suboptimal to downright toxic, which is, I guess, what you get when the Reward Machine is run by the Advertising Machine these days, and has tuned its mechanism to extract will and money from our behavior very finely indeed.

I've had difficulty finishing books, in the last few years - something I'd been doing without trouble for my entire life before. (That too is coming back.)

I blame brain chemistry and burnout, but also, the online environments I've been in have provided the wrong kind of flow; tiny bites of erudition, instantaneous response. Dynamism, turbulance, but almost no resistance.

I came to those environments because my wrists were giving me trouble (they still are, but if I avoid rapid messaging, I at least have the physical stamina now to write a screenful of text) and stayed because my cognition and mental pacing recalibrated to match, and I couldn't find an exit point, a place where it made more sense in the immediate to return to...

...this, to thinking out loud with genuine structure. Missives complete within themselves, instead of just random scraps. A space into which determination and identity can unfold.

It seemed so difficult, because the things that were easy were also stealing from me.

So a few days ago I reconnected with old friends in person, and we agreed, an accountability pact, to return together here, because this is where there's a living architecture that gives us space to be ourselves and escape the cycle, and we've all known this for a while (but it's so hard, when you're being stolen from, and everyone else is being stolen from, and...) and here I am.

It feels better already.

Let us Make something once more.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (homestuck - sollux)
Tumblr is glitching to hell and also gaslighting me, so I'm just going to dust this thing off and consider switching my blogging here. Change is SCARY, even when it's to a format you're inherently more comfortable with anyway.

Anyone know how to set up widgets that post your DW posting to other social networks? I keep meaning to do that and have thus far failed to investigate it successfully.

And is there a client for Android that works well?
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (homestuck - sollux)
Okay, sorry I've been so totally out of contact. I'm mostly on my Tumblr right now because my fandom is most active there, as much as I'd rather it be here or on LJ.

But anyway. We (titianArchivist and myself) have completed the first "book" of Wires and Stars, our Sollux/Psiioniic epicfic, and I have all these rambly thoughts to tell you sometime about creativity and how awesome it is to have a creative partner because this is the only novel-length work I've both completed and been genuinely happy with completing (same for Titian), and it's making me think about the possibility of going back towards writing as a career.

The series isn't finished, but the first part is finally out the gate. All seventeen chapters of it. WITH FANART ALL OVER THE PLACE, oh my god. Not by us, but by people who actually draw, wow.


Wires and Stars: Initiation

in chapters * as one piece


Story contains pseudo-incest [of the "characters are genetically related but don't have a human-style family relationship" variety], body horror, angst, hurt/comfort, age difference, mental health issues... let's just say our motto is "everything is beautiful and everything hurts", and we're dedicated to both dealing with really dark material and being ultimately kind to our readers as a baseline. It's an attempt to tell an ultimately hopeful story in a crapsack world.

We have an authorial policy, in response to a number of concerned questions: ask directly for spoilers if you need them. Fanfiction should be fun! It should be fun for everyone, at every level of narrative surprise comfort or lack thereof!

If you want to skip to the smut, we also wrote fingers of light, a 12k smutty one-shot that takes place just before the last chapter of Initiation. It's somewhat spoilery for the story arc of Initiation, but if you're a skip-to-the-smut sort of person (no shame in that!) you probably don't mind.

Still need to write up the FAQ of "things you need to know about Homestuck to make our fic comprehensible if you're not a Homestuck reader", but as a general principle, most of them are the sort of thing you'll know if someone has told you about Homestuck at length and if you keep the wiki handy: we're trying very hard with this to make it relatively accessible to non-Homestuck fans. And, if you're a non-Homestuck who wants to read it and is waiting on said FAQ, please let me know! It'll give me motivation to work harder. :-)

Enjoy!
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
- Part of Wires and Stars: Initiation by [personal profile] amberite and [personal profile] titianarchivist -


(art by querulousArtisan)

Chapter 6: whenever I'm alone and you're lost out there


Teaser:
This is not something you can engineer.

This should not upset you as much as it does.

But: identify your variables, and you can give them parameters. You finally have a name, now, for the loss and the longing and the reaching; you know the shape of the shameful crack in your heart.

More chapter teasers below the cut )

Tags/warnings/etc at AO3.
And a bunch of new art in chapters 2, 3 and 7 and linked from chapter 5!

Sorry about the delayed updates. I've been mostly over on Tumblr, as there are more Homestucks there, even though I like LJ and DW better.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (homestuck - sollux)
I'm not sure I can call them art, precisely, but I've been drawing Homestucky things and putting them on my DeviantArt. Enjoy.
amberite: the psiioniic (psiioniic 1)
- Part of Wires and Stars by [personal profile] amberite and [personal profile] titianarchivist -

Chapter 5: cup your hands like the conch to your ear

Teaser/Summary:
“I think, I think last time you could hear me I asked you to tell me everything. I. I still want that.” You look him square in the eye, still can’t get over how his eyes reverse-mirror yours, and your stupid defensiveness goes to brittle nothing like a drying soap bubble.

In which attempts are made to divulge memories, assuage discomfort, and consult a third party, with mixed success in all cases.

Tags/warnings/etc at AO3.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
prologue (aka chapter 1) * chapter 2 * chapter 3

Chapter 4: it's a hollow play but they laugh anyway

Summary/teaser: You crawl back into your command centers through a narrow sideways channel of machine code, back to your body where she wants you: your body the central emplacement on the front line from which you can never retreat.

And in another time and place, Aradia is awesome.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
Dream: I was in the town where my grandma lived, high school graduation was going on, accompanied by a massive LARP event. And every year at graduation a few kids were supposed to be conscripted as Helmsmen.

And I was this character who would have been conscripted but escaped, and every year during these events I helped the conscripts escape from the Empire’s clutches.

Boy, am I jonesing to keep writing Wires & Stars, apparently.

And maybe the reason why my brain turned high school graduation into a LARP was because I never really did the high school thing. (For that matter, maybe there’s a message about high school and sinister mind control!… Or not.)

But then there was also this sequence where there was a narrow window of time when I could get the kids out and it was, like, during some kind of prep phase and I had to unhook them from simulators and basically wound up bringing them through the LARP in disguise or something and that’s, like, a plot from The Sound of Music, practically.

NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MY BRAIN IS DOING EITHER.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
(Sollux/Psiioniic epic in progress by [personal profile] amberite and [personal profile] titianarchivist. Warnings/ratings up on AO3. Body horror, weird dream shit, later smut.)

Chapter Teaser:
You are too open. You are defenseless. You are not a vessel for voices, you are a fleetbeast dead center on the highway, you have no foreknowledge of what you are about to endure, you will be destroyed, insane. You are not yourself. You are so young.

You know who you are.
You know who you are.

Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
For Wires and Stars, the long Sollux/Psiioniic fic [personal profile] titianarchivist and I are writing.


Now that we're actually headed toward the central pairing of the story, I thought some readers might like a bit of background noise on some of the issues and how we're addressing them, since this is LONGfic and not a one-off. So, this is gonna be a FAQ/IAQ - reader questions and our own questions that we answer in process, updated as the story goes.

We're also going to address some Homestuck stuff here for any readers who are new to the fandom, as time goes on, and detail headcanons for bits and pieces that come up. Let's start off with a few pragmatic questions about titling and formatting:

Q. Why is this set up as a series on AO3? How much of it will there be?

A. We have at least two main acts of story, as well as an interlude, planned. The story begins concurrent and more-or-less compatible with Homestuck canon for Hivebent (though see disclaimers about character ages, below) and will break away at a specific and obvious point.

Q. Where do the chapter titles come from?

A. They're song lyrics, from specific songs that we've selected for the soundtrack because most-to-all of the lyrics will have significance in the story. We encourage readers to go read the lyrics and/or get hold of the songs and speculate.

Current list:
Ex Reverie - Cedar
Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage
Maria McKee - Breathe (Harvard Opportunes version)

Q. How old is Sollux exactly at the beginning of all this?

A. For reference we're using the headcanon that one Alternian solar sweep = approximately 2.6 years, for maturity purposes if not chronological purposes. So 5 sweeps = about 13 years and 6 sweeps = nearly 16.

This is based on canonical characterizations: troll maturity doesn't seem to correspond to human assumptions very well - which is no big surprise given that they're as much guardians over their lusii as vice versa. Everyone has a lot more irons in the fire than we'd expect for 13-year-olds, going into SGRUB. So we just picked a slightly more sensible-seeming time conversion and we're going with that.

Q. I'm confused. Is this an incest thing or not?
Mild spoilers for story direction ahead. )
amberite: the psiioniic (psiioniic 1)
Wires and Stars: Initiation, by [personal profile] amberite & [personal profile] titianarchivist.

First chapter of the Sollux/Psiioniic fic we've been working on. (Additionally Sollux/Aradia pale - which is the most major pairing in this chapter, and there will be some Sollux/Karkat, and more pairings added as they appear. The central pairing isn't quite even a pairing yet; but since it's the central pairing I figured it deserved to be tagged for clarity.)

The first time, you just dream of strange stars. Stars rise at the top of your vision and arc lazily down to the bottom, constellation after constellation, galaxy after galaxy, and you wake with an effortless sense of great distance and deep calm that stays with you half the night.

Perigees pass before you’re willing to question it, to investigate what the hell that was all about, and by that time, things have gotten
entirely out of hand.

You’re well aware that you’re half crazy. Maybe it’s just your mutant thinkpan acting up. The alternative... you don’t want to think about the alternative.


WARNINGS: So far? Body horror. A bit of ableist language surrounding mental illness, because Karkat takes potshots at Sollux and Sollux takes potshots at himself. The rest at AO3. There will be smut later, don't you worry about it.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
You are like the best personal ad exchange for awkward new people with FEELS.

I believe I sense a new Homestuck fandom clade coming on.

*steeples fingers* Eexxcellent.
amberite: the psiioniic (psiioniic 1)
Weird realization of the day:

The Sollux/Psiioniic fic I've begun work on with [personal profile] titianarchivist maps out mythologically to Tam Lin.

Thanks, brain. I'm enormously fond of that legend.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
Okay, apparently Dreamwidth is crap at actually sending out invitations, since only one person so far has been able to accept their invitation and two other people whom I invited are shown as "outstanding invitations not yet accepted" but simultaneously had to apply for membership.

So I'm going to set the community on open membership for a while. Hope this works better!
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
[community profile] captorfic

Despite the name, it is not solely for fic. It is fic- and conversation-oriented and I am trying to especially invite people who want to get up to these shenanigans - the kind that are difficult on Tumblr!

But yeah. Go over and check thii2 2hiit out if you like the Gemini trolls and want people to jam with for fan-creativity. Because.
amberite: it is Sollux at his computer looking adorbs (Default)
I probably found you Homestucking. Tumblr is stupidly frustrating and I need more comrades somewhere with real discussion. I'm also me on Livejournal, and more active there. Hi!
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